Feeling Guilty After Losing A Pet
Often, guilt is an emotion that we feel after the loss of a loved pet. If a beloved pet was lost in an accident or in a moment of carelessness then guilt is normally quick to follow. Maybe a door was left open and the cat ran out into the street and accidentally got hit by a car, or perhaps the pet was fed too much chocolate? Whatever the cause of the accident, guilt is a normal response. Even if a pet dies unexpectedly from an illness, similar feelings of guilt may creep in.
Those who lost a pet this way may be thinking to themselves “I should have seen the signs…I should have taken them to the vet…I should have had a second opinion.” Guilt is the feeling expressed when we feel like we haven’t done enough to save a beloved pet. Getting a pet euthanised is the thing that many people feel most guilty about, if the situation ever arises. For a long time afterwards, even if the owner is certain that they have done the right thing, guilt will eat away at them. Euthanising a pet is never something that people feel entirely comfortable with, even if it is the only option left. Many people will walk away from the vet surgery wondering if they should have waited, whether they should have done more, whether it really was the right decision.
Coping with guilt as well as grief can be a hard thing to do. Grieving for the loss of a loved pet companion is normal, and so is feeling guilty about their demise. Asking ourselves why we didn’t do something or expressing wishes like “If only I’d…” are both common reactions to the loss of a pet. These often destructive thoughts, are normal responses.
As humans, we tend to believe in the process of cause and effect. Humans have the tendancy to believe that bad things which have happened could have been prevented, if only a certain task had been done e.g. taking the ill pet to the vet sooner, would have stopped you losing them. Often, we consider ourselves to be our pet’s protectors/guardians, so when something bad happens we naturally feel guilty.
Guilt is an emotion that can actually be quite helpful. Guilty feelings can help to teach us what we should not do with the next pet, in order to keep them safer e.g. perform regular health checks, don’t feed them excessive amounts of chocolate. Naturally working your way through guilt allows people to become emotionally stronger and healthier.
If you are suffering from guilt over the loss of a pet, there are several things you can do to help the healing process. Try not to repeat the same guilty thoughts in your mind. Acknowledge guilty thoughts about your pet’s death, but try to follow them with a positive thought. For example: I feel so guilty that I had to euthanise Max, I could have waited a bit longer to see if he would get better. However, I made the right decision because now I know that he is no longer suffering.
Understanding that we cannot go back and change what has already happened is key. Acknowledging that we cannot change the death of a loved one, but we can use their loss to make sure we don’t make the same mistakes in the future is important. If there is nothing that you could have done to avoid the scenario, tell yourself you did the best you could with the options you had and you will continue to try and make the best decisions concerning future pets.
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